The Blessing and the Curse of Feeling Other People’s Emotions

When I go to a store, or any place where many people visit, I am generally overwhelmed by all that is there. After visiting a mall I am completely exhausted. Sometimes, visiting a grocery store is enough. I am happiest and most at ease in a forest by myself or with a friend. Preferably deep in the forest.

When I am in conversation with someone, I sync with their field. I feel their mood. Sometimes I am uplifted, sometimes I feel a downward pull. I may observe specific emotions as well. It is as if entering through interaction a joint field, a joint atmosphere of emotions. We each contribute our part in it. Our emotional currents and flows affect the joint outcomes.

When I walk out of a meeting, the connection often persists. The event does not end when we part, it may continue for an hour, a day, a week or even several weeks. I notice that whatever I feel is likely a reflection of whatever the other person is feeling. If the other person drinks alcohol, I might get very tired. It has happened that when the other person took a falling asleep pill, I became dizzy and disoriented as if getting the anesthetic myself ( I checked afterwards from the person and found out what they had done at the time when I was feeling disoriented).

It is not only afterwards that the effect persists. Often, before a meeting, I already start feeling the connection. As if we already are meeting, or as if I am already preparing for it by connecting over the distance to whoever is participating. I feel whatever the emotional currents and states will be, among the meeting or among the participants who attend.

In some cases this is great. Having access to this information about a joint event is extremely valuable and useful. It lets me deal with whatever is to come, on an emotional level, already beforehand. As a result, in the meeting itself, I am able to interact in the best possible way to obtain whatever goals there are. In another way, this is a huge burden. If I am giving a lecture to 200 people, already weeks before, when I start preparing the lecture, I feel the emotional states of the participants. It is as if I am in a laboratory with them the whole time. Imagine the amount of information that I am connected to. And this is just one lecture. Imagine that I had a lecture every week, to 200 people. How much information is that?

The ability to observe and to heal go hand in hand

But I am not only a receiver of this information. As it turns out, I have the ability to not only to observe but also to have an effect on both the emotional and the mental body of a person over the distance. This means, that I can observe, feel and find ways to unblock emotional blocks over the distance. Even to start healing wounds, although that is a slow and individual process. Sometimes I can also observe, and make changes to thoughts and trains of thoughts.

What a great manipulative tool!  You might say. Yes, it is exactly that. But imagine that you are unable to not be connected to these emotions and these thoughts? Imagine if you could hear many people’s states all the time, not having a way to shield from them?  To be connected to their suffering as well. So, if I were to cause suffering to a person, I would feel that too.

As a result, I have enormous responsibility. Of doing right by everyone that I am connected with. I feel the consequences very directly. Not only that: if an organization that I am in connection with suffers a blow, I feel its aftermath within large parts of the organization. I feel it through whomever I am linked with within the organization.

When do these emotion links begin?

Being present in the same space is enough to create a link. Registering for an event, that is, having an intention of being in the same space, can create the same link as well. Also talking online, or even just interacting through Facebook feed may create a link. However, I receive the most amount of links when I am a speaker in an event. It seems that when people anticipate hearing a lecture from me, they quite often open a data flow with me, or I with them. When I am a mere participant, the effect is much smaller.

Are there ways to regulate access to your emotions?

Yes. Some people shield themselves, they have very clear borders and they regulate by themselves the access to their fields. In their presence, I am very much at ease. They hold within their emotional states. To me it is at the same time a lack of transparency but in a relieving way, and a lack of access. I don’t receive constant stream of data from them. Only their speech, facial expressions and so on are known to me.

When a person ”opens up” to me, their data becomes visible to me. There can also be degrees: a person may open part of their data while keeping other data hidden. Think of it in terms of computer analogy: someone might have ”public data space”, ”private data space” and ”access restricted data space” where the last part access can be given to specific trusted individuals. Mostly we are not that aware of whom we give access to which part of our data spaces. In addition, you might think of the analogy of ”read access” vs. ”read-write access”.  With only read access, I can observe. Read-write access lets me also make changes.

When someone asks me for a healing, generally they trust me and therefore give me the read-write access at least to some parts of their being. If they do not do this, then I cannot help even if I understand the problem. These access rights can to some degree be given consciously, by deciding to do so. The same applies to denying access to your data.

Is this specific to me, or generally applicable to people?

While I talk about myself and my experiences and observations concerning interaction, I believe these are general principles that work for many others as well.  Discussions with others have confirmed that I am not alone with these abilities.  Some people are naturally more open to the information flows from others while others may be more shielded also from the incoming flows.  Overly sensitive people, including introverts and those who get exhausted in the company of others, may be the ones more susceptible, more open concerning these flows of emotional data.

The Blessing and the Challenge

The fact that introvertedness is considered a personality trait shows how difficult it is in reality to change these matters. If you are susceptible to other people’s emotions, perhaps you have worked for years to find a solution to it, such as trying to learn to shield yourself or enforce your own borders, and still only found partial relief. We cannot escape sensing each others’ emotions. That is a blessing and a challenge at the same time. It means that we cannot inflict suffering on others without experiencing it ourselves. On the other hand, it means also that if our surroundings are in pain for whatever reason, it becomes also our pain. And if we can relieve the suffering in our surroundings, we very concretely feel the healing within ourselves as well.

The wonderful potential in this is that one has the means to start helping others in an extensive way. However, first one must find the means of healing and positive transformation within oneself. Maintaining stability and peace within the bombardment of all these energies is the challenge.

My final sentiment is beautifully expressed by the Rag & Bone Man in the song I’m only human.  Please listen to it with me.