The Blessing and the Curse of Feeling Other People’s Emotions

When I go to a store, or any place where many people visit, I am generally overwhelmed by all that is there. After visiting a mall I am completely exhausted. Sometimes, visiting a grocery store is enough. I am happiest and most at ease in a forest by myself or with a friend. Preferably deep in the forest.

When I am in conversation with someone, I sync with their field. I feel their mood. Sometimes I am uplifted, sometimes I feel a downward pull. I may observe specific emotions as well. It is as if entering through interaction a joint field, a joint atmosphere of emotions. We each contribute our part in it. Our emotional currents and flows affect the joint outcomes.

When I walk out of a meeting, the connection often persists. The event does not end when we part, it may continue for an hour, a day, a week or even several weeks. I notice that whatever I feel is likely a reflection of whatever the other person is feeling. If the other person drinks alcohol, I might get very tired. It has happened that when the other person took a falling asleep pill, I became dizzy and disoriented as if getting the anesthetic myself ( I checked afterwards from the person and found out what they had done at the time when I was feeling disoriented).

It is not only afterwards that the effect persists. Often, before a meeting, I already start feeling the connection. As if we already are meeting, or as if I am already preparing for it by connecting over the distance to whoever is participating. I feel whatever the emotional currents and states will be, among the meeting or among the participants who attend.

In some cases this is great. Having access to this information about a joint event is extremely valuable and useful. It lets me deal with whatever is to come, on an emotional level, already beforehand. As a result, in the meeting itself, I am able to interact in the best possible way to obtain whatever goals there are. In another way, this is a huge burden. If I am giving a lecture to 200 people, already weeks before, when I start preparing the lecture, I feel the emotional states of the participants. It is as if I am in a laboratory with them the whole time. Imagine the amount of information that I am connected to. And this is just one lecture. Imagine that I had a lecture every week, to 200 people. How much information is that?

The ability to observe and to heal go hand in hand

But I am not only a receiver of this information. As it turns out, I have the ability to not only to observe but also to have an effect on both the emotional and the mental body of a person over the distance. This means, that I can observe, feel and find ways to unblock emotional blocks over the distance. Even to start healing wounds, although that is a slow and individual process. Sometimes I can also observe, and make changes to thoughts and trains of thoughts.

What a great manipulative tool!  You might say. Yes, it is exactly that. But imagine that you are unable to not be connected to these emotions and these thoughts? Imagine if you could hear many people’s states all the time, not having a way to shield from them?  To be connected to their suffering as well. So, if I were to cause suffering to a person, I would feel that too.

As a result, I have enormous responsibility. Of doing right by everyone that I am connected with. I feel the consequences very directly. Not only that: if an organization that I am in connection with suffers a blow, I feel its aftermath within large parts of the organization. I feel it through whomever I am linked with within the organization.

When do these emotion links begin?

Being present in the same space is enough to create a link. Registering for an event, that is, having an intention of being in the same space, can create the same link as well. Also talking online, or even just interacting through Facebook feed may create a link. However, I receive the most amount of links when I am a speaker in an event. It seems that when people anticipate hearing a lecture from me, they quite often open a data flow with me, or I with them. When I am a mere participant, the effect is much smaller.

Are there ways to regulate access to your emotions?

Yes. Some people shield themselves, they have very clear borders and they regulate by themselves the access to their fields. In their presence, I am very much at ease. They hold within their emotional states. To me it is at the same time a lack of transparency but in a relieving way, and a lack of access. I don’t receive constant stream of data from them. Only their speech, facial expressions and so on are known to me.

When a person ”opens up” to me, their data becomes visible to me. There can also be degrees: a person may open part of their data while keeping other data hidden. Think of it in terms of computer analogy: someone might have ”public data space”, ”private data space” and ”access restricted data space” where the last part access can be given to specific trusted individuals. Mostly we are not that aware of whom we give access to which part of our data spaces. In addition, you might think of the analogy of ”read access” vs. ”read-write access”.  With only read access, I can observe. Read-write access lets me also make changes.

When someone asks me for a healing, generally they trust me and therefore give me the read-write access at least to some parts of their being. If they do not do this, then I cannot help even if I understand the problem. These access rights can to some degree be given consciously, by deciding to do so. The same applies to denying access to your data.

Is this specific to me, or generally applicable to people?

While I talk about myself and my experiences and observations concerning interaction, I believe these are general principles that work for many others as well.  Discussions with others have confirmed that I am not alone with these abilities.  Some people are naturally more open to the information flows from others while others may be more shielded also from the incoming flows.  Overly sensitive people, including introverts and those who get exhausted in the company of others, may be the ones more susceptible, more open concerning these flows of emotional data.

The Blessing and the Challenge

The fact that introvertedness is considered a personality trait shows how difficult it is in reality to change these matters. If you are susceptible to other people’s emotions, perhaps you have worked for years to find a solution to it, such as trying to learn to shield yourself or enforce your own borders, and still only found partial relief. We cannot escape sensing each others’ emotions. That is a blessing and a challenge at the same time. It means that we cannot inflict suffering on others without experiencing it ourselves. On the other hand, it means also that if our surroundings are in pain for whatever reason, it becomes also our pain. And if we can relieve the suffering in our surroundings, we very concretely feel the healing within ourselves as well.

The wonderful potential in this is that one has the means to start helping others in an extensive way. However, first one must find the means of healing and positive transformation within oneself. Maintaining stability and peace within the bombardment of all these energies is the challenge.

My final sentiment is beautifully expressed by the Rag & Bone Man in the song I’m only human.  Please listen to it with me.

Creating the life you want

Professor of digital social science at Uni Helsinki

How do you create the life you want? There are an endless number of self-help books that try to answer this question. I haven’t read any of them. Still, here I will describe my understanding, based on my own experiences and no one else’s. To what extent this applies to others, I do not really know, but perhaps my experiences will help you in finding your own way of creating.

Here is how I do it, and how I progress in learning on how to do it. The list is borne out of years of trying different ways and observing the results. Based on how my life events are unfolding, and have been unfolding for the past years, I seem to be getting pretty good results pretty fast. In the past year, I have: started this blog, begun a new line of work as a healer/coach, founded the first company ever in my life, then begun as a university professor for the first time, as well as healed myself from appendicitis without having the prescribed operation. What a year!

And therefore it is time to share the experiences and see if these steps of creation can benefit you too. Enjoy! May this be for the benefit of all beings in all universes.

This post contains: The nine steps of creation, Explanation for each step, On the usefulness of prior inner work, and Words of caution.

The nine steps of creation

  1. Prepare good external and internal conditions for creating an optimal outcome.
  2. Ask all help that is for the highest good.
  3. Decide to let go of all opposition and resistance within, related to this creation.
  4. Intend, that whatever you create now, works towards the highest good for all beings.
  5. Visualize what you wish to create.
  6. Intend, that THIS is what I wish to create, while holding the coherent vision in your mind.
  7. Let go of your creation.
  8. Thank all the help you received, and will receive.
  9. Observe and pay attention to events as they unfold. Learn.

 

Krista with Al Pacino
Krista meeting Al Pacino in 2016

 

Ëxplanation for each step

  1. Prepare good external and internal conditions for creating an optimal outcome.
    Practical means of preparation might include: cleaning the physical space and making it comfortable, lighting a fire or a candle, and playing suitable music. Or having a good night’s sleep, taking a walk in the nature, having a wonderful, relaxing conversation with a friend. Regarding your state of mind, you may wish to center yourself, to be well seated within your own body, to bring all parts of you within the body, to clear, balance, stabilize all within you, and to contact your inner light at the center of your being. You might also wish to bless yourself, bless everyone you have been or will be in contact today, and bless the work that you are about to do here.
  2. Ask all help that is for the highest good.
    Highest good refers to events that work towards the optimal course for all beings. This is much more powerful request than asking for help from a specific source. At the same time the wish is protected by the phrase “for the highest good”: It rules out any self-serving “helpers” who do not act in your best interest. However, this request will only reach sources of help that you have a connection with, that are able to contact you. Working in a group of friends, a much wider variety of help will be available for creating any outcome. This makes group co-creations much more likely to work well than individual ones.
  3. Decide to let go of all opposition and resistance within, related to this creation. Do it: Let go! Repeat as long as necessary. Let go from all internal states: Visit consciously all internal states that you are aware of within yourself, and decide to let go of resistance towards this creation. For example, you can work this in terms of the Archetypes (do inner work to recognize your own archetypes): The Mother, the Father, the Child. Various wounded states might also include: The Victim, the Judge, the Perpetrator, the Thief, the Creator, the Starving, the Unseen one, the Unloved one, the Unaccepted one, the Masochist. Visit each state by deciding that you now seek to go to that state….then go there. Then decide to let go of all opposition and resistance towards this act of creation.
  4. Intend, that whatever you create now, works towards the highest good for all beings. Make a decision that you wish to create an event that is on the “optimal timeline” for all. Commit yourself to this, decide to work for the highest good of all beings.
  5. Visualize what you wish to create. Start with something small and concrete. For example: you might wish to create a visit from a long-lost friend, or a gathering of friends. This needs to be done without specifying a particular individual: you cannot cross free will of other Creators. So, make sure your Creation leaves enough space so that whoever is willing to answer your call for contact will answer it by choice. In particular, describe how the visit would feel: what good and pleasant qualities it would have. While doing this, if you recognize thoughts that are objections to whatever you wish to create, these objections are real obstacles. If you say within yourself “but this is not possible because this, that and those factors…” then likely the creation will fail. You are contradicting yourself while you create, your own “left hand” thinking destroys whatever you are building with the “right hand”. So, either find an outcome that you are able to agree upon within yourself, or apply any means you can to remove the contradictions from your mind before proceeding. Also phrasing your wish in negation, such as “there will be no quarrel” is an obstacle, because you are imagining a quarrel while visualizing the outcome. You might then get a quarrel – the “no” word does not make a difference. Instead, you might wish to imagine a harmonious, pleasant, lively, enriching and fulfilling meeting of friends, one that is joyous and will leave everyone uplifted spiritually and in a state of thorough emotional satisfaction.
  6. Intend, that THIS is what I wish to create, while holding the coherent vision in your mind. Make a point, for example stomp your foot on the ground to stress that this is it. I decide this. Remember, do not harm other beings. Asking for good things for yourself is perfectly fine. Asking for something that is good for you and for others, is the best choice. Asking for something that is good for others but forgets your own needs, is a recipe of slower or faster self-destruction. It cannot be on the optimal timeline. If you have trouble asking for good things for yourself, there is a reason. Work on finding and resolving it, healing it, letting go of it.
  7. Let go of your creation. Release it – do not hold onto it with your ordinary mind. It is no longer your job. Trying to control it will not help, it will prevent the vision from materializing. Trust the universe now, or trust the vast completeness of your Self that is much bigger than you realize. Trust your own intuition and the course of events that will proceed. You may at different points feel a natural, intuitive pull to act a certain way in a situation that will contribute to the materializing of your creation. Listen to these inner guidances and outer synchronities. Listen to the events in your life and gently let them float you beyond corners that you did not know of, did not see, towards the outcome you visualized. You have now prepared your own mind, its conscious and unconscious parts, towards the route that is likely to materialize whatever you wished. You have now used all your own gifts and talents and all the available help for this outcome. Whether it materializes as you wished or not, pay attention. Learn. Repeat to learn more about how your own mind works to create the life around you.
  8. Thank all the help you received, and will receive. Thank the universe as well. Feel the unbounded Love of the Universe while it will help you, as it has your back in whatever you do. You are not creating alone, you are creating with the whole universe. The more your creation is for the good for all beings, the stronger it will be aligned with wishes of others, and therefore backed by the universe. But even wishes for our own individual good are backed by the universe.
  9. Observe and pay attention to events as they unfold. Learn. As life unfolds, pay every now and then attention to what you asked for and what is happening now. Did you get some of the things you asked? Did you overlook something important, while “making the order”? What was missing, and how to improve on the visualization? How to visualize something that you want and that is good for you?

On the usefulness of prior inner work

Personally, I have done 10 years of active, conscious internal work to clarify my inner world, to become conscious of my emotions, internal habits, programs learned and inherited, or those carried from previous lives. I have healed wounds, deleted old programs, and released stuck emotions. I have made space within. I have contacted my inner self, acquainted with the light within. I’ve began receiving help from sources that I do not know with ordinary mind. I have resolved internal conflicts and integrated my being gradually to gain a more stable view of what my own will is.

In my case, I consider this inner work completely essential step before creating with full power. Consider, for a second, what happens if one has internal conflicts: One day I am in one state, with a particular personality, emotional dynamics, wants and wishes. And I create life events starting from those. The next day, my state is different, my personality, needs, wishes and so on are slightly or even radically different. And then I create life events from those wants. These things materialize in the real world, but they are in conflict – they take me to different directions. Let us say in one state I invited in my life a companion that suits that half of me. And the next day, I absolutely do not want a companion at all.  Even if a companion materializes, the inner conflict will alternately pull him in or push him away, Now this is an example from my life – it is not fun for either party.

Figuring out the internal conflicts and resolving them is essential if one wishes to have a harmonious experience in this world. The end result might be a compromise, a middle way, or a combination that satisfies part of the time the needs of one party and the next day, the needs of the other.  This is no different than resolving conflicts in the outer world: First you need to hear and understand the needs of all parties. Then figure out if all of these needs are true, necessary, or are they pains of old wounds that could also be healed to gain more freedom in the negotiations. Or re they aperhaps stuck programs, habits of the mind that do not reflect the real wishes of either party, and which would be best to let go.  Finally, a solution that is at least acceptable to all parties may be found.  If one of the parties is not heard properly, to the core self, an imbalanced solution may be created. Due to suppressing part of the Self, over time it will lead to increasing unhappiness. An illness or some form, or an eruption of the suppressed energy is a likely outcome in such a case. So, pay attention to the totality of who you are, when choosing what to create.  And if you get it wrong, focus on step nine, learn, and create a better outcome next time!

As an example, consider the needs for both being without a companion and having a certain type of companion. What type of creative intention could be the middle ground, where both needs become satisfied? At first it looks impossible. But in fact, the solution is this: having a relationship contains frequent “alone time”. If there is co-habitation, it must be only part-time. This could materialize as living in different apartments, cities, even countries. The reality always finds a solution – when doing a creation, one does not worry about HOW the solution will be found. Just describing the essentials, all the combined needs of all parties, in sufficient detail is fine. Let the universe figure out the rest.

Words of caution

If you make a powerful wish that stems from a wounded state within you, it still has every chance of materializing. For example, if you are in a state of martyrdom, and create something from that state, you may create life events where you end up acting as a martyr. This might entail very difficult and taxing life circumstances for yourself. Nevertheless, these may serve your highest good, as living through what you just created will make you notice that you create from a wounded state, not from a healed state.  For these reasons, it may be wise to start consciously creating quite small and concrete things. With practice, you will get good at creating things you like. Then it is a great idea to step up the game and extend to creating bigger outcomes.

Secondly, every powerful creation starts a process. Specifically, it is a process of transformation that takes you towards the materialization of whatever you created. If this requires a cleansing process or inner work on your part, then that is what will start to happen.  By creating the end result, you also do create the causes for the materialization of the end result.  So be careful what you ask for, as you might get it – and whatever is necessary to cause it!  A famous example was a man who wished to have patience. As the answer, “god” sent him some pretty taxing circumstances where he did start to learn patience.   In this case, the god is within – we are the creators, in collaboration with the whole universe. Just be careful out there, and in there, as you are truly responsible for whatever you create!

Speaking from experience – how coaching with JT Foxx helped me

Before Foxx happened, I was in a total standstill in my life. I had behind me a relatively successful research career, but did not understand where it was going, or how. I had obtained a PhD in 2000, written over 70 published academic articles which were highly cited, obtained a number of honors, but not gotten forward to get a professorship or a permanent position. Instead, I was hired as a regular researcher with very short-term contracts and no real view into advancing. I had followed my passions when choosing research topics, but eventually they were not achieving me a proper position in the academia. I was not feeling accomplished.

I also had behind me 25 years of getting to know myself on deeper levels, using a large variety of both bodily, mental, emotional and spiritual practices and methods, ranging from several budo styles (Karate, Taiji, I Chuan), several Yoga styles, various meditative traditions, psychotherapeutic and trauma therapeutic methods, and even the study of emotional healing techniques called by names like bodywork or therapeutic energy healing. In effect, I had integrated and healed myself a lot, I had a lot of skills and gifts in this area, but this part of me was completely hidden. I did not dare to talk about this side of me in public.  In essence, I was in two halves, and did not know how to go forward.  It seemed that I was not progressing in any area of my life, although I did seem to have a lot of potential. Potential to do what, I did not know.

Krista_RandiZuckerberg
Randy Zuckerberg, sister of Mark and the person early on behind Facebook Marketing was a delightful person to listen to.

Then, in summer 2016, I had an intuitive feeling that I would be getting a coach in the fall. In September, I saw a Facebook ad that somehow managed to by-pass my very good internal ad filtering. I never notice ads, but this one I did notice. Several times. It said ”The world needs more women speakers”. Eventually, curious of who is so clever that they can tempt me in this way, I clicked the ad, and then registered for a 1-day Megaspeaker event by someone called JT Foxx, who was titled as ”Worlds number 1 wealth coach”.  I had never heard of him. I was not interested in wealth, had never been. I detested selling and marketing, as most Finns do. Once I had seriously tried to start a company, but even though the prospects did seem extremely promising, I could not bring myself to take that step. Internally, I could not step over that line.

Krista_HenrikEklund
Fredrik Eklund – a Swedish real estate broker – was a funny man also in person.

In the Megaspeaker event in September 2016, I found myself nodding and smiling with almost everything this Foxx guy said. I was happy. I was energized. I knew I wanted to go forward. And I already learned a lot.  I really had not anticipated that. I did not know where I wanted to go, nor did I expect that a wealth coach could take me there. But my intuition, which I had learned to trust, said ”jump”.  So I signed up in the best program they had on offer: 3 days of individual coaching plus Mega-Branding including an interview with Al Pacino, for whom I have always had great respect. To do this, I had to make a choice: do I wish to buy a house, or do I wish to do this coaching? I chose coaching. I had no idea if I would ever earn back the money I was investing, so it was a very big step.  But I invested in myself.

Krista_AlPacino1
Meeting Al Pacino, interviewing him, and hearing him describe our talk as “what a delightful exchange we had back there” was an incredible experience. Almost like “The Scent of a Woman” 😀

It is now 11 months since that decision. While the decision seemed nuts from an analytic-left-brain kind of way, I must say I am completely at ease and happy with things as they progress now. First, I came out of the proverbial closet as an Energy Healer. This was very big step, since energy healing and the academia don’t currently go well together. Later, I learned (in the Top 1% experience) to re-brand myself as a Life Strategy Coach. I now have several regular coaching students who report long-term progress following my coaching. I feel like I am truly helping others.

I also started a blog, and then a company, called Multidimensional Minds. The company exists as a means to fulfill a vision: to start an Academy of Spiritual Sciences. This is a big dream and cannot be accomplished alone. Together with collaborators, we have started by organizing weekend courses in fall 2017.

Perhaps as the most surprising outcome from wealth coaching, I am now a professor of Digital Social Science at the University of Helsinki, the highest-ranked university in Finland. I finally had the courage and guts and self-esteem to write an application in the way that it brought out my best qualities. I had the guts to get that position, through every step. I did not give up on myself, and I did not give up on my vision for this field.

Why did I suddenly make all this progress, after a long stand still? I can see no other explanation but the fact that I attended JT Foxx’s event, decided to step forward, and then, went through every bit of coaching, transformative events and implementing what I learned. Th ey really did bring my two halves together: the analytic left brain and the intuitive right brain, to use an old metaphor. The transformation for me was profound: I let go off a huge deal of self-doubt, which had prevented me before. When I was no longer tripping over myself, I was finally able to progress towards my dreams. I found my internal strength. I gained more courage. I learned such an amount of new skills that I cannot describe them here.

DamienKristaFoxxhouse
Coach Damien taught us about selling while he also showed the techniques he described. Photo by: Brand It

What JT Foxx and his crew accomplish is very hard to describe, because they use so many different methods. They push you, show you the mirror of where are the blocks, and if you let them, they coach you to unravel the blocks and to step over your internal obstacles to really use your gifts. They teach a variety of practical skills that are immediately useful. But for me, the most influential have been the inner steps. In Al Pacino interview I learned to overcome my self-doubt. In every individual and group coaching session, the fact that my gifts and skills have been seen, both accepted and challenged, and reflected back to me with just the right words for the world to understand, has been immeasurably valuable. It enables me to see my own potential, and how to go forward with it.

KristaFoxxtalo
I observed JT carefully, with both left and right brain 😀
Photo By: Brand It

 

JT Foxx’s coaching is a very clever, very effective, extremely well oiled and well put-together operation. I attended the coaching because I observed their excellence, because I felt it would help me, and because I felt we are on the same side: out there to help the world. And this is what I have observed. JT Foxx and his crew are out there to help the world. I wish them the best of success. I intend to learn lots more with this crew.

Now, do you wish to go forward as well?

Courses    Sign up for 15-minute free coaching

 

On Healing And Consciousness

What is Energy Healing?

Joining now? Please read the starting post first. It will tell you why I have started this blog and what is the objective eventually. We are not there yet, though. This is a time of introducing terms and concepts by using them, so that we start to slowly understand what each other means by a particular term. It takes time to understand each other’s language. Especially since there has been reasonably little open discussion about energy healing even among the various traditions that do some kind of energy work.

I use energy healing loosely to describe any kind of work with energies, with the individual energy field or with the collective energy field, in a healing manner.

By healing I refer to a change towards wholeness, connectedness and aligned. To be healed is to be whole, connected, and appropriately aligned. Wholeness refers to wholeness on the soul level, i.e. that there are no misplaced soul pieces, either extra pieces taken from another, or missing pieces that need to be retrieved. In addition, it refers to wholeness on the various levels of the emotional body: that its layers are healthy, strong, have no holes, and are not porous. There may yet be other aspects of wholeness that are not included in this description, and yet need to be described.

Being connected refers to having exactly the appropriate kinds of connections between different parts of the human energy field as a whole. This includes connections within oneself, as well as connectivity with other people (and the ability to make healthy connections and stay away from unhealthy ones). It also includes being appropriately connected to universal sources of energy from below and from above. Being aligned is a condition I feel belongs to the definition of being healed. However, at this point I am not yet ready to describe what I mean by it.

Discussing energy healing without talking about consciousness seems incomplete. While ‘energy healing’ is a way of describing certain phenomena in terms of so-called energy, another approach to these phenomena may open up from the direction and using the concepts related to consciousness.

Individual consciousness

Conscious, sentient beings are able to observe their surroundings. The same faculties of observation can, with practice, be turned towards observing the mind itself. While we easily learn to observe outside events during our life, starting to observe one’s own mind requires particular effort. What happens ‘out there’ has a strong pull,  a power to grab our attention. What happens within may remain unnoticed – at least until a life situation arises that is difficult enough, or restricting enough, that the old forms of working with the world do not seem to suffice. The gaze is then finally shifted inwards.

Practicing concentration through observation of the mind

Just as with learning any other skill, observing one’s own mind is a skill that can be learned by anyone who is motivated enough to put in the time and effort to do so. Our capacity of making distinctions within the internal observation space grows only with practice – there are no shortcuts. Just like there are no shortcuts in learning to skate, or in learning to drive a car: inevitably one must practice a lot to learn the new skills required.

At first, we may need to limit the amount of outside stimulation, to be able to observe what goes on within. Observing what goes on within may be so uncomfortable that we avoid it at all cost. Restlesness, anxiety, and slumber are possible ways of avoiding the inner experience. Over time and after repeated practice, however, the internal gazing becomes more habitual.

For some, before practicing meditation, one must learn to relax first the body and then the mind thoroughly.  Dealing with emotional obstacles that hinder full relaxation might be required. Next, one may practice observing the thoughts as they arise and then subside, trying not to get caught in the thoughts. This meditation technique is taught in one form or another in many different teaching traditions. In the buddhist tradition it is called Shamata or Shine meditation.

Once one has practiced enough of observing the thougts, another level of the practice is to start noticing also the more subtle emotions, or bodily sensations, as they arise and subside. In some training traditions there are explicit practices for observing  these, for example as a ‘body scanning’ practice, where one observes each body part at a time.

Over time, these skill honed through repeated practice, wtill start ransfering to everyday life situations. Practicing the stance of the observer of emotions as they arise, eventually when anger is triggered in a real situation, instead of reacting in anger, one may just pause there and observe the anger.  Just observing the arising of the emotion, and how it feels and so on. The observation itself gives space and freedom and time to choose with more wisdom, how one will eventually act. Perhaps an appropriate action is then found, rather than just ‘blowing up’.

In this way, simply learning to observe the mind often leads to increased emotional wellbeing and happiness. The ability to observe a thought or emotion instead of being engaged or engrossed in it, begins to open the possibility to act wisely even when strong emotions are present. The practice opens up a kind of breathing space between emotion and action. In this way, meditation practice can over time lead to a more peaceful, wiser and happier existence for ourselves and for those close to us.

Working with difficult emotions by using antidotes

Once we are able to observe the emotions as they arise, and to recognize them within us, to name them, it is possible to take further steps. We may call in ‘antidotes’ to the more poisonous emotions. These antidotes include for example love and compassion. If we have ever experienced love from another, or experienced compassion when we were suffering, we may be able to recall that emotion at will. By naming the antidote, recalling it from memory, we may ourselves learn to also practice being in a compassionate state. Just as one can practice becoming angry and over time, become angry even more easily, one may also practice the antidotes. One can think of this practice as learning the movement of how to reach to the correct drawer in a cupboard. At first we may not know the way, but the more we practice, the more straightforward the movement becomes. Or think of learning to pitch the ball in tennis. A very specific movement, which over practice becomes fast and reliable.  Similarly, one can over time become fast and reliable in reaching a state of compassion, of love, of forgiveness and so on.

It is important to notice, that doing this on the level of the mind, as a thinking process, is not enough. It is not enough in the same way as thinking about pitching a ball is not the same as actually pitching the ball. So we need to actually work on the level of our own emotions. Not someone else’s emotions, not on analyzing mentally or intellectually emotions, but on actually feeling the emotions. Then, learning to name the feeling. This can be a very difficult job when you have learned to use your mind as a purely intellectual, analytic tool. The world of emotions may at first feel chaotic, even. Something to be avoided. But as with everything, over time and practice the chaos will start becoming clearer.

Depending on our life histories, we may have practiced certain emotions a lot. Perhaps getting angry was the thing to do, how to solve any difficult problem when we were kids. Or perhaps it was becoming overly joyous and pretending any difficulties did not exist. As if not admitting that there is anything wrong would make wrongness go away. Whatever emotional strategies we practiced in our earlier lives, we are now very good at. The positive thing, though, is that starting to practice healthy strategies now, we can actually change the ways we have always reacted. As a result, our lives will be profoundly changed as well. Perhaps even our identity, how we see ourselves to be, starts to change.

Working with antidotes, I have found that the practice that transforms my emotional dynamics in a profound way is this: when I am able to stop in the moment and observe the emotion as it arises, I recall the appropriate antidote. At first this is practiced in ‘laboratory setting’, that is, by recalling a past situation where a difficult emotion arose, and working with the antidote in regard to that memory and similar ones. At a later stage, the practice can be transferred to real world situations. Getting this far requires quite steady and observant mind, the ability to stand back and observe instead of engaging. Which antidotes to use in which states of mind is a matter where instruction from experienced practitioners and teachers is valuable. Not everything has to be discovered by oneself – there are general ways in which all minds work, the knowledge of which can be utilized to help further generations of practitioners.

Where are these antidotes taught?

At first it may be necessary that a particular antidote drawer is opened with a teacher who knows the right drawer and the required movements. This happens in much the same way that a parent may guide the baby’s hand to reach the correct movement path so that the spoon actually reaches the mouth for the first times. After a time, the baby can continue practicing and do this unassisted with more and more fluency of action. The same principle applies when reaching for the antidotes regarding dealing with our difficult emotions: self-learning is indeed possible, but the speed of learning can be greatly increased with a good teacher and a good source of knowledge regarding the particular antidotes.

So far, I have found only two sources that teach the use of antidotes: Tara Rokpa Therapy which applies Tibetan Buddhist meditation techniques as part of the therapeutic process, and Ho’oponopono, which applies four basic antidotes for any difficult situation,  not making distinction which one of them is needed at a particular time. In addition, in healing traditions, the concept of applying antidotes on an energetic level is known, for example in the Barbara Ann Brennan School of Healing. The concept of an antidote or an energy medicine is found also in Homeopathy.

Often advanced teachings are protected in order not to be diluted or transmitted in a partial or corrupted form. There might indeed be many other spiritual or healing traditions that also use these kinds of antidotes for working with difficult emotions, but if their practices are reserved only for those who advance far enough in their studies, I would not know about them.

I have so far talked mostly about relative antidotes, that is, using an antidote that is based on one’s own human existence. With help from outside, it is possible to learn to use purer and purer antidotes. What is needed is that someone can create or recall the antidote emotion in a strong, clear and powerful manner, and to share that state of being with us, in a way that we feel it as well. Then we may have that experience, even if we did not in our earlier lives. And afterwords, we have the experience in our cupboard, to be used when needed. In some traditions there is a reference to so-called absolute antidotes. These include absolute love, absolute compassion, absolute forgiveness, absolute grace and so on. For example, the way that very profound spiritual experiences actually transforms people’s lives, is in my view due to the person momentarily experiencing an absolute antidote. Once that antidote is experienced, it is in one’s cupboard and can forever be accessed. One single experience may transform the life forever.  This is also the reason, in my view, why such experiences are rarely repeated. There is no dire need of repetition, one initial experience of a pure antidote, combined with own practice on how to retrieve that antidote to use it in real-world situations, is enough to change lives for good.

The difference between relative and pure antidotes is similar to the difference between a certain pitch played by a gitar, or sung by a human, and the absolute frequency as a pure sine form, which can be mathematically produced. The absolute frequency exists, but in the physical world it is always either combined with overtones (as in the case of humans or instruments) or combined with various kinds of noise that arises in all physical systems. We may have an idea of the absolute frequency, and we may get closer to reproducing it, but even in its purest case, its actuality in the physical world is always relative.

 

Shared consciousness

Is conscious experience always individual? Or can there be an instant or a even a prolonged period of shared consciousness? 

It has been customary to think that consciousness and mind are individual phenomena, restricted to an individual’s mind. However, not all of our customary ways of thinking about the mind are correct. While we may not yet have a sufficient theoretical explanation that could account for ‘the substance’ of shared consciousness, we should nevertheless be open to the possibility of its existence, and to pay attention to experiential observations rather than restrict ourselves due to a lack of a unified theory.

Is consciousness limited to a single physical body, as if an aspect of the body? Or can it be rather more like a field extending somewhat outside the body? 

Many of us are accustomed to thinking that our existence is limited to our own body, as if we inhabited our body only, or as if we in fact were our body. However, this might actually just be a very entrenched thinking habit, involving specific beliefs about the body, the mind and the consciousness. Whether or not these are a particularly appropriate or fruitful ways to think about our consciousness remains an open question.

Keen observers have started noticing that there are concepts such as ‘the atmosphere’ of a space that seems to persist, regardless of individuals occupying that space.  Moreover, even sociologists have noticed that emotions can be transferred among individuals who are in contact. It is not currently understood properly how these phenomena should be explained, but again, the lack of theoretical explanation should not be a reason to restrict making observations. Let us observe, and let us later attempt to form the appropriate theory to explain the observations.

Can consciousness have a reach that is regardless of physical location, but rather more related to for example intentional state and the attention of the individual?

Nowadays, there appear to be a large number of people who have internal observations that do not correspond with the habitual ways of thinking about consciousness. Moments of apparent telepathy, having premonitions of people arriving soon, experiencing visitations from people that have passed away, experiencing angels, nature spirits, or star people or ETs are examples of consciousness phenomena that are within the range of experience for a large proportion of people regardless of nationality, religion and so on.  Experiences of energy healing or even distant healing or distant seeing are further phenomena experienced by many. Furthermore, there are people who experience collectively synchronized events or emotional or other consciousness processes, whose origins seem to be totally unrelated to their own lives, yet synchronized with those of many other people.

What is the ontological nature of each of these experiences is a separate question, which does not need to be the first question to be figured out. A proper theory of consciousness should try to give a reasonable account of all of these, in addition to the ‘ordinary’ conscious phenomena that are shared by all. Cataloguing the various kinds of non-ordinary experiences that seem to take a place is a start, a pre-requisite for building a theory. The next step would be to collect data about the prevalence of each type of experience, as well as  about the conditions in which they are experienced. Finally, theory formation might begin. Of course, some of this type of research has already begun.

What are the immediate obstacles in this kind of research? First of all, for some, these experiences might be very subtle. Observations of the so-called external world are loud, strong and solid. Internal observations are in general rather of a different kind. To begin with emotions, it is not that simple to observe one’s own emotional state. What is the current emotion or mood, exactly? Noticing that there even is an emotional state or mood takes a lot of practice.

If making proper observations requires practice, then who are the people who can be included in this type of study of conscious phenomena? Do people need to be categorized based on their skill level? How to measure such consciousness skills? How to create standardized ways of training a group of individuals in sufficient internal skills to be able to do large-scale empirical research on these phenomena?

Developing ways to discuss various phenomena of conscious experience in all their varieties is essential if we wish to increase our general understanding of human consciousness. Open discussion might shed light also on phenomena that appear to signify the existence of a form of shared consciousness which can extend between two or more individuals. Even later, perhaps it becomes possible to posit a theory that attempts to describe not only the phenomena relating to an individual’s consciousness but at the same time offers an elegant explanation of the shared consciousness phenomena as well.

Final note of my own experience on energy healing and shared consciousness

In my experience, developing the ability to heal energetically appears to be closely related to developing my ability to  observe and work with the mind. The more ability I have regarding consciousness, the better and stronger are my healing abilities becoming as well. I do not yet have a full theory of how this works, but this is how it feels like: When I learn to observe an emotional block within my own mind, then learn how to release it, then I learn which antidote to apply to it within myself.  Then, either through compassion practice or strong natural tendency for compassion, I observe an emotional block in another, then starting from the wish to help another being I am able to guide their consciousness and together with their consciousness we work to open the block and apply the antidote. For me, most of this happens very intuitively. The other person not only obtains a release of the block,  a fine result in itself. At the same time, they sometimes report learning experientially matters regarding their own consciousness. The experience often leads to concrete changes in relation to one’s own life.

For me, these two ways of describing the mind , either through energy healing, or through working with one’s own consciousness, are closely related although the conceptualizations differ. Others might have different views and experiences. For me, shared consciousness and the ability to touch another person’s consciousness is very natural. Distance is not an obstacle. Consciousness reaches its destination as quickly as a thought does, as long as the intention has a specific destination. The ability to recognize, however, when my consciousness is where, and to intentionally direct it in useful and healing ways, is something that has taken a lot of practice of awareness and other types of systematic learning.

Do you wish to share an experience?

Do you have an experience of shared consciousness, or some other phenomenon mentioned above?  Please write a comment below.

Learning to Be in the Now

Power of observation

Cool that you are reading this. I do not yet know who I am writing to. I am just writing the words that are given, as they flow through me. I am not planning this post. I do not know where it will go. I am curious to find out, though. Being present in exactly Now, with no plans, is actually pretty strange. I did not understand what that means at all, just a short while back. It sounded like a lot of theoretical thinking to me.

Now there is a pause in writing…I am kind of waiting….waiting to hear where the flow will take me next. I have an urge to try to plan this. My mind tries to take control. Oh, it knows so well to do that. To plan, to control, to manage, and to make everything look good. Respectable. In order. Of good quality. It is much easier to be in control and to plan ahead, than not be in control. Not know where the hell everything will go. Where will I go? What will I become? Is there any contribution to whatever I produce right now? I don’t know.

A pause, again. Again my mind tries to step in charge. It thinks it is getting the hang of the situation now, and seeing, wants to at least now jump in the head of the wagon. To actually make something out of this. Something respectable. Something worth while. Something, going somewhere. And again, I let go. It is an incessant practice. I get to practice this every day. The controlling part is so well practiced already. Knows its ways. Can manage, has proven efficient. Why then let go? A pause. Do I even know why to let go? A momentary fear: perhaps I don’t know. Why then am I writing this? The mind invents endless questions, worries, troubles, obstacles, and reasons Not To Let Go.

But I, the “big I”, persists. I let go again and again. It feels like the “Big I” is this loving and safe embrace, and the “I” that wants to be in control, is about a 3-year-old kid, who struggles to do stuff her way. Has a strong will too! Who am I really, in the middle of these two? I am both. My consciousness, my multidimensional mind, contains both of these states. Or these processes, as they are not just states. They are states, but yet they also contain dynamics, like processes or computer programs that can be activated precisely in that state. A particular program may be triggered in one of the states but not, perhaps, in another state.

Stuck again. A pause, and I am not sure where this will go. Usually, I would not write about the pauses. This time though, it is the process itself that I am writing about. Or this is how I interpret it now, after the fact.

The analytic mind

Our minds love to interpret what we experience. We invent a story of our life. We describe experiences in a certain way. These are all after the fact. When we experience in the Now, the experience is huge. In so many different ways, it is undescribable. Later, we remember some aspects of it, and build a story line, involving categorized events and event sequences. That is the sequential, analytic, logical mind.  In the now, there is the parallel, multidimensional mind.

Categories. Would we not be better off without them altogether? Categorizing people as black or white, or political views as right-wing/republican/conservative as opposed to left-wing/democrat/liberal does not do justice to the reality. Yet we create these categories. Then we make inferences and predictions based on these categorizations. The more a particular instance differs from the category prototype, the more likely the inferences will go haywire. But this is the way our mind works: it does an imperfect job of describing a very complex experience in just a few categories, and then forgets most of everything else it perceived. Most of the stuff we perceive, we never even become conscious of. We concentrate on the categories as if that in itself was our perception. It is not. We even fight over categories. We fight over where the category borders are. How to name them. How to describe what they are about. We write our laws referring to these categories. Such as ‘citizen’ and ‘immigrant’, and what are the criteria of belonging into one or the other.

A pause, again. It is frustrating – I still don’t know where this will go. I deliberately refuse to plan, to even guess. I am pretty confident, that if I try to plan this, it will not be as fresh as if I just stay in the present.

When we think in the logical, analytic, categorical mind, our mind works in the space of existing programs. The paths well trodden. Being there, we will create whatever has been seen before. We will create a repetition of what we have already observed. Perhaps it will be a somewhat novel combination of old stuff. But mostly, it will be an average of old experiences. That is the most likely outcome, when working in the analytic mind. It will find a ‘solution’ based on past experiences. But what if we wish to find something new? To take a road not yet taken? To invent something totally outside the box? Outside of all boxes that we ever saw? What good is it to take old paths, if you wish to find a new continent? Finding your way out of the categorical mind is the first, essential step of creating something. Letting go of control, of planning, of guessing the end result.

Yet, the need to be in control is strong. I’ve always been in control. I’ve controlled emotions, their expression, what I say so I don’t hurt, bother or alienate others. Controlled destiny, controlled in relationships, controlled others around me. It is very easy to be in control. And one can get very good at it too. Letting go is much more difficult. It is scary too. Where is there safety, if one is not in control? Isn’t being in control the ultimate and absolutely necessary part of being safe? For a while, it was. But then, kids happened. Kids are beyond expectations, beyond anything that can be controlled. Birth, giving birth, is outside of any kind of control. Actually, trying to be in control makes giving birth that much more difficult, painful, and longer-lasting. Being in control, and being in your own power are two very different things. Control is like the weak human behind a 6-pack of horses, somehow trying to hold their reins. Being in your own power, is being the horse. Being able to run yourself. Having all that power within you.

Rational or worth while?

I keep asking: is this text rational? My internal I answers, “No”. Well, is it worth anything? The answer is “Yes”. Being rational is about does it make sense analytically, is it well structured, organized, planned, in control, going somewhere. Worth something, is a question that relates to an outcome, a change, perhaps even existing in a state that is perceived as “good”, or “valuable”. Can we get to a better state? Perhaps. Some might. Then it is worth it to write this. Is it good for everyone reading it? No, not that. Being good to everyone is not really possible. You bow at some people, and show your butt at others (a Finnish saying). Try not to please, it will get nowhere. Is it worth while to me, to write this? Yes. I become more aware of myself, of processes within me, while writing this. Awareness is always good, and increasing awareness is worth while, always.

We are near the end, my internal observer tells me now. Great. I was getting tired. Were you? I still don’t know what the value of this text might be. Perhaps I might find out, later. And then, I might not. I take my chances. I decide to trust the internal flow that took me here. The internal observer who, when I turn to that part of myself, says that everything is good and OK and worth while exactly like this. And who loves me, just the way I am. In the middle of things, not understanding everything. Not knowing next steps. Not always making the right choices. That is OK, all of it is. We get to be here, and learn. That is great. That is amazing, actually. We don’t need to be ready now, or ready ever. We get to be not-ready, and still OK. Not-ready, and still get to do things. Try out, how does it feel if I do this? Oops, broke everything. Interesting. Now I know 🙂  There are words for this, I now recognize. Self-acceptance. Even self-love. Yeah, good words, for describing this experience. There was a time when I did not know what it is like to feel this. I am grateful and happy that I get to experience this now. Not having it different, would I now recognize that there is a difference? Of course not. I needed to experience lack of self-love and lack of self-acceptance, to know what self-love means. If there is just one kind of experience, with no differentiation, is it really an experience? We need to experience both ends, light and dark, to even recognize light. Thanks for the dark, now it is time for some light!

P.S.

Before I have the courage to post this, I am scared. I am scared, that despite all the flow moments, and the guidance, it will go awry in some way. I check again from my greater I: Is this OK? Am I OK as this, also? Yes. I am still OK just as I Am. No need to be anything, anything “more”, anything fancier, anything more ready. I am this just in this moment. That is enough. I am safe, and loved, and perfectly fine. And so are you!

Starting a blog about the mind

It is not about information, but about transformation’
– Unknown.

Who am I

I am Krista Lagus, from Helsinki, Finland. I am the founder of this blog and currently its only author. I am a PhD by training and academic scientist by profession, a mother of three wonderful kids, and a spiritual seeker and meditator for over 20 years. Most recently I’ve also become a therapeutic energy healer and spiritual coach.

For years I have been exploring different methods and long-term processes of working with my own emotions, beliefs and belief structures, as well as transforming persistent personality traits. As a result, I have transformed my own mind, as well as transformed my life into a much more functional, fulfilling and happy one. Others around me have benefited greatly as well, as test subjects of whatever methods I have discovered. I am still a work in progress and expect to learn more throughout my existence. I welcome a larger community to discuss with, and invite you into the community.

Over the years I have realized that I am extraordinarily sensitive. I could be classified as a super-empath. Easily and without actual intent I tend to experience  sensations (such as thirst) and emotions (such as grief) of those around me, even regardless of physical distance. Coming to terms with this has been a slow progress of learning to exist here without the constant onslaught of everyone’s emotions and energies. Sometimes I pick up thoughts as well. I know there are many, many others struggling to cope with similar experiences. I think we need to discuss these matters more openly than has previously been considered possible.

When I begun in earnest to work with clearing my own emotions and emotional blocks, over time I discovered that I am able to help others with their emotional blocks as well. Given a permission, I can enter the ‘field’ of an individual, and make similar changes as I do with my own field. Or I can offer guidance on the mind practice that I use myself. In effect I can teach many thins that I know how to do.  I have therefore become a healer and a coach in many different ways.  In addition, I have a 4-year training in Therapeutic Energy Healing, which has helped me immensely forward, and given me also a lot of psychologicval background as well as conceptual understanding of these matters.

Most of all, however, I consider myself an empirical researcher of the mind from within. I seem to have have a fine internal measuring laboratory within me for perceiving the changes that various practices of the mind are able to produce within me and also within others. With this internal laboratory, I conduct experiments. I learn how the mind works, how blocks can be released, how wounds can be healed, and how restricting structures can be released. After making a finding within myself, I then start testing my finding on others, with their permission. The question then is: can I help someone else with the observation that I found? Does it work outside of my own mind as well? Over time, my conceptualizations of the mind progress, and I am able to find practices that work for specific conditions. Some of these practices come from long-standing spiritual traditions such as tibetan buddhism or yogic philosophy. Others are intuitively formulated or ‘given’ from the upper layers of consciousness, or from spiritual guides, if you prefer that terminology.

Since there exist many different traditions regarding working with the mind, there also exist many different conceptualizations. Much like with different religions, it is very diffcult to say whether a concept that is used by one spiritual tradition has an equivalent concept in another tradition. Making the connections across traditions requires testing their methods and making observations within a single mind, i.e., within the same testing laboratory. It also requires a lot of discussion, if we are to learn from all the traditions, and from many people.

In my view, experience in itself is a sufficient method of observing what happens in the mind. It has been customary to require external measurement devices. This is in error in my view. The mind does not yield to external measurements, not in its entirety. Even to the extend that it will eventually yield to external measuring, the first step of any new field of research is to perform qualitative research. Only later can one hope to perform quantitative research – once it has been clarified, what are the dimensions to be measured, ad what is the quantifying scale. Getting that far requires a lot of conceptual work, a lot of description of individual case studies, and of recording of individual  experiences. We are not there yet, but this is exactly the work that we must begin.

Why start a blog?

After a long period of ‘learning undercover’, I wish to start sharing what I find. There are two main reasons.

Firstly, I see a great deal of suffering everywhere in the society. People wish to change their lives for the better, but do not know how to attain the change. Therapists are costly, and spiritual traditions may not ‘fit’, or they are from a wrong culture to be acceptable. It is time that people can more efficiently learn to heal themselves.

Individuas who are able to heal themselves, will begin to heal the society as well. It is clear that our societies and the world dearly need this. We need all the hands we can get, on board, rowing for a better life for all, with every paddle and makeshift oar that can be conceived.

Secondly, I see the need for actual scientific enquiry regarding the mind from a purely internal perspective. While spiritual traditions have in the past been a suitable vehicle for transferring this kind of knowledge, currently the proper vehicle for transferring knowledge is science. We need to find ways to include examining the spiritual as part of the scientific endeavour. This requires a change, a paradigm shift in effect, in the scientifc world view. Currently the most prevalent world view amongst scientists appears to be scientific materialism. However, already quantum theory has challenged our fundamental views of what the universe is made of. We may yet need a field theory of the mind, or another conceptual framework capable of expressing ‘non-standard findings’. After all, these seem to be more and more common also among individuals with a scientific background. Conceptualizations such as ‘energy’ (as in having a lot of energy, transferring or clearing energy, or energy healing), ‘spirit’ (as in raising team spirit, or having spirit guides), ‘soul’ (as in having a connection with your own soul, working with soul retrieval, or having wounds of the soul) should not be foreign to the enquiry- rather, they need to be included in the realm that we examine and attempt to discuss scientifically.

Objectives for the blog

  1. I wish to benefit others who are working with their own mind, who wish to heal themselves, to overcome internal blocks, to change persistent personality traits, or in general to change their lives for the better, when they have previously tried in vain. To do this, I will present my own findings regarding practices that I’ve found to work particularly well.
  2. I hope to find others who have a scientific mindset and are also transforming the mind from within, to locate a suitable, open-minded and curious scientific community with the intent of learning generalizable facts about how the mind can be transformed from within. If you are like that, please let me know. I am aware that there may be such communities at least in the field of positive psychology.
  3. I look forward to having an open discussion on the findings I present. Let me call this proto-scientific endeavour of examining the mind from within.  Eventually, I hope that this attempt will pave way towards integrating this work into the activities of a suitable scientific community.

To end with a wish that is inspired by a Buddhist practice: Let all beings in all universes, realms and realities become happy, and attain enlightenment.